On finishing the dreaded PhD

Today it ended. After 5 years, 10 months and 16 days I graduated with a PhD in Human Geography. Thus ends the journey that I started on Septemeber 9th, 1996 when I enrolled at my first university. I wish I had some wise words or insights, but I don't. The process of the last 5 years and the mess that has come about from it has for the most part left with the feeling that the world is a really fucked up place beyond any idea I had previously. Although I have not broken from the process of the research and the end result, I come out the other side as a really skeptical person about how things should go and what reality is. What happened during these last 3 years was not fair, but hell...life is not fair. My mental state can be listed as challenged at best at this point. I can put it to the back of my mind at most points, but everytime something else happens I again begin the process of recovery from step 1.

I feel like I'm in that stupid scene in Godfather III where Michael Corlene keeps trying to swim away from the mess he is in and extols "just when i thought i was out they pull me back in." Maybe I don't have a heart attack after I say it as he does, but I can relate to it. In the end I really need to get out of this business and move on to other research.

Don't get me wrong. The last 5 years have had some great moments. I thank god for ##### and all that has come with her. We have good friends and a really decent life together. As so far the rest, I'm still trying to decide if this stupid degree was really worth all the pain. Like I said...I have no wisdom from any of it.

I'll give it some time.