On Getting Older...
I woke up this morning, had a shower, brushed my teeth, looked in the mirror and it was then that I saw it. My beard has decided that it's future is to turn into a silvery mane. The site of it demands that my future career options be either A. a department store Santa Claus or B. a Jerry Garcia impersonator. Now all I have to do is gain two or three hundred pounds and I'm all set.
I know most of you guys are saying "Dude, what the fuck? It's just a gray hair or twelve. Get over it." Others of you are saying "I feel your pain." And still others of you are wondering what it would be like to have anal sex with Snooki from Jersey Shore. To these people I say that you are sick bastards, but I'll give you the answer to your question anyway: I expect the sex would be rather shitty all the same. How could it not be? I mean, look at the girl? She has so many layers of fake tan on that the sheets would turn orange. How could anyone find this umpalumpa looking girl attractive?
You may think I've gotten off topic, but you seem to miss my point. So let me bring it back into focus for you. I wouldn't touch Snooki with a ten foot long diamond cutter wrapped in multiple layers of adamantium cellophane. The thing I can't understand is why younger guys would have this compulsion? I mean, come on? What is the attraction to girl who has the intelligence (and also the height now that I think about it) of a bar stool. I might be getting a bit old, but I think I find it much more satisfying to have someone that stimulates my mind rather than just my crotch.
Oh well. Are there any girls out there have ever fantasized about having sex with Karl Marx or Charlie Daniels? Let me know and please call me in about 10 years time when my transformation is complete. Any takers out there? Anyone? (crickets...)
Sigh...
But that other girl from Jersey shore...J-Woww, that is a whole different story... (evil grin)
I know most of you guys are saying "Dude, what the fuck? It's just a gray hair or twelve. Get over it." Others of you are saying "I feel your pain." And still others of you are wondering what it would be like to have anal sex with Snooki from Jersey Shore. To these people I say that you are sick bastards, but I'll give you the answer to your question anyway: I expect the sex would be rather shitty all the same. How could it not be? I mean, look at the girl? She has so many layers of fake tan on that the sheets would turn orange. How could anyone find this umpalumpa looking girl attractive?
You may think I've gotten off topic, but you seem to miss my point. So let me bring it back into focus for you. I wouldn't touch Snooki with a ten foot long diamond cutter wrapped in multiple layers of adamantium cellophane. The thing I can't understand is why younger guys would have this compulsion? I mean, come on? What is the attraction to girl who has the intelligence (and also the height now that I think about it) of a bar stool. I might be getting a bit old, but I think I find it much more satisfying to have someone that stimulates my mind rather than just my crotch.
Oh well. Are there any girls out there have ever fantasized about having sex with Karl Marx or Charlie Daniels? Let me know and please call me in about 10 years time when my transformation is complete. Any takers out there? Anyone? (crickets...)
Sigh...
But that other girl from Jersey shore...J-Woww, that is a whole different story... (evil grin)
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